Entry #117: Phaseblood – A Tonic for Transdimensional Catastrophes

Authored by Arch-Alchemist Teranca Rymden (Retired, Not Reformed) With Unhelpful Additions by Pusillin the Uninvited

🧪 Name: Phaseblood

"Reality is optional. Taste is not." —Teranca

🔮 Classification: Mutagenic Transmogrification Tonic / Temporal-Stability Hazard

🧬 Purpose:

Originally conceived as an experiment in stabilizing worgen blood for alchemical enhancement, Phaseblood quickly devolved into a multidimensional mutagen with unreliable side effects and an aftertaste of regret. It may grant glimpses of future selves, trigger temporary phase-shifting, or cause spontaneous alignment realignments. You know—fun things.

📝 Ingredients:

⚗️ Preparation Steps:

Crystallized Worgen Blood
– Boiled down until it hums at the edge of hearing.
– Must be collected during a full moon or a really good tantrum.
Fel-Infused Void Ichor
– Extracted from a void spawn who had opinions.
– Mix with demonic sulfur for that extra “why is it glowing?”
Entropy-Stabilized Basilisk Saliva (5 drops)
– Must be collected while the basilisk is watching daytime elven soap operas.
– Any more than five drops and the tonic becomes sentient.
Chaos Gland Extract (courtesy of Pusillin)
– Location: classified. Removal method: painful.
– Tastes like banana liqueur and poor decisions.
Shaved Shards of Unwanted Phylactery (Optional Garnish)
– Best sourced from a necromancer named Steve.
– Adds crunch.

Mix blood and ichor in a cursed obsidian chalice.
Stir counter-clockwise while reciting vague insults.
Add basilisk saliva slowly.
Do not make eye contact with the flask. It knows.
Introduce chaos extract while wearing gloves.
Or don’t. It’s your skin.
Decant into cursed perfume flasks for style.
Flasks must be at least mildly haunted.
Seal with a Glyph of Gleeful Entropy.
Apply pink wax. Pusillin insists.

🧷 Containment Instructions:

Do not store near holy relics, sleeping familiars, or emotionally vulnerable adventurers.
Screams from the bottle are normal.
If the flask starts vibrating, drink it quickly. That’s a courtesy, not a warning.

☣ Side Effects (Documented & Hysterical):

Astral bilocation (temporary)
Uncontrollable weeping at your own reflection
Seeing enemies as ex-lovers (awkward mid-combat hugs)
Increased charisma (until the second dose, then terrifying charisma)
Flickering in and out of the mortal timeline
Spontaneous poetry in languages you never learned
Temporary wings (may not be your own)

🧙 Suggested Uses:

Sabotaging duels with unpredictable flair
Emotional blackmail through forced existential insight
Impressing bored demons at parties
Adding depth to your midlife crisis

🔏 Warning:

Repeated use may fracture your soul into a collectible card game. Consult your nearest warlock if headache persists for more than four realities.

Notes from Pusillin:

"10/10. Would drink again. Giggled uncontrollably, levitated, and declared myself the mayor of three different timelines. Also my tail exploded - again. Excellent craftsmanship."

How This Came About

[IMPnet - Infernal Messaging Protocol]
User: Teranca.Rymden
Status: Brewing Something Legally Ambiguous
User: Pusillin.exe
Status: Sparkles and Screams

Teranca.Rymden:
I’ve been toying with a blend: crystallized worgen blood + fel-infused void ichor + five drops of entropy-stabilized basilisk saliva.
It writhes when stirred.
I’m calling it Phaseblood. Thoughts?

Pusillin.exe:
🤤
YES. That’s not a potion. That’s a personality shift in a bottle.
What does it do?

Teranca.Rymden:
Unclear. The last test subject burst into spores and achieved temporary astral bilocation.
She claims she met her future self and immediately slapped her.

Pusillin.exe:
Perfection. Add this: extract of my chaos gland (don’t ask where it is, you’re happier not knowing).
It destabilizes morality filters. Might make the drinker evil. Or incredibly attractive. Or both.

Teranca.Rymden:
My kind of side effect.
We’ll need a containment enchantment. Maybe a stabilized phylactery casing?

Pusillin.exe:
I’ve got one! It used to belong to a necromancer named Steve. He screamed a lot.
Now it glows pink when angry. Totally safe.

Teranca.Rymden:
Pink?
…We’re keeping that.
I’ll anchor the base with a bloodrune array. If you inscribe a glyph of gleeful entropy, it might dance when uncorked.

Pusillin.exe:
Already done. It jiggles and hums show tunes.
Phaseblood will be a hit at parties. Or funerals. Or interdimensional duels.

Teranca.Rymden:
One concern: preliminary effects include hallucinating that your enemies are ex-lovers.
The last orc drank it and started apologizing to his shield.

Pusillin.exe:
That’s a feature, not a bug.
Emotional confusion = combat advantage.

Teranca.Rymden:
Fine.
Batch #1 is complete. I’m bottling it in cursed perfume flasks. Elegant. Deceptive. Possibly flammable.

Pusillin.exe:
Let’s test it. You drink, I observe.
Or vice versa. We flip a soul shard?

Teranca.Rymden:
You’re the imp. You drink. I observe. And laugh.

Pusillin.exe:
Deal. If I grow wings, you’re taking a selfie.

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